The Troll On Women

For some reason, the troll believes that God owes him a wife. By the way, the troll is a virgin, or so he tells us. He tells us LOTS of things (August 12)

"well come on XXXXX, how the heck long does God expect me to wait? i'm 27 years old! does he expect me to go my entire life without sex if i never get married? thats ridiculous! why should everyone else get to enjoy sex but i can't? why the heck is God waiting so dang long to bring a woman into my life? its because of him that i'm still single, he for some reason refuses to bring a woman into my life and i dont get it. he knows i want one but he doesnt give me one. i can't think of a single family member that has waited til they were married to have sex."

Later that night:

"of course its Gods' fault i'm still single. what does he expect me to do about it? he is the one who is
supposed to send a girl into my life and he hasnt done it. yes its his job to bring a girl into my life."

When asked why God owes him a wife, he said:

"it says right in the bible ask and you shall receive. gotcha!"

The troll goes to work, the grocery store, and home. He does not go to concerts, movies, belong to clubs, or do anything where he might actually meet new people. Yet here is his reply when someone questioned him on this:

"i've done all i can to find a woman, now its up to God to do the rest."

The troll has a major crush on a girl. So what does he get her for her birthday? A dinner out followed by a movie? An invitation to a park? Something where he could spend some time with her? Heavens no, that would be too conventional.

He gets her a $40 gift card to a department store.

This guy is a riot.

I am not sure if it is because he is cheap, or simply does not know how to court someone, but here is what he said about giving the girl he likes flowers. I guess he doesn't realize that getting her flowers might help in him winning her over. (August 12, 2006)

"'m not her boyfriend yet so i shouldnt buy her flowers."