Thoughts on Marriage

After spending however much time picking out the perfect wife, you want to make sure you keep her around. There are several ways to do this:

• Chain her up. This is frowned upon in polite circles, and tends to foster resentment in the wife. I strongly advise against this.
• Do your share of the housework. But remember, the icky jobs, like spider disposal and cleaning out the green moldy stuff in the refrigerator, are yours. (note - my wife made me add this disclaimer. We don't have green moldy stuff in our refrigerator).
• compliment her often. Like today. My wife was wondering if she looked OK to run to the store. I looked her straight in the eye, and told her that she looked fine, that I had seen plenty of women who looked worse at the store.
• give her gifts, just because. I recently gave my wife two gifts that she really wanted. If you have trouble picking out gifts, here are some ideas.

© 2006, Andrew Rotramel
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