Andrew For President

(sound cheers)

Believe it or not, I have actually received campaign contributions. I think 25 cents. Not even enough to file the quarterly financial reports.

After much though, I have decided to run for president. I have no illusions about my chances of winning an election, but I do want to make my positions on various issues known. I hope to influence some to a more enlightened way of seeing the world.

My positions are, in no particular order:

• peace and joy for everyone
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• abolish capitol punishment
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• update the U.S.A. bill of rights
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• All punative damages go to the state
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• All laws and regulations will expire after ten years unless reauthorized
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• Normalize relations with Cuba
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• revert the national motto to what it was before the Red Scare witch hunts of the 1950's, E Pluribus Unum.
  • The current motto of In God We Trust promotes a diest world view and is therefore unconstitutional.
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• immediate recognition of the state of Palistine
  • $5,000,000,000 per year in foreigh aid to Palistine
  • Offer Palistine sufficient U.S. Peace Keeping troops to protect their borders from Israel
  • Sponser Palistines entry into the United Nations
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• Naom Chomski as National Security Advisor, if he will serve
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• Adoption of all outstanding human and civil rights treaties
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• Approval of the treaty establishing the International Criminal Court
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• Immediate execution of all outstanding orders of the World Court
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• Replace the income tax with a national sales tax / value added tax
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• Make prostitution legal
• Regulate it in a similar manner to the way that restaurants and bars are regulated
• Hire additional public health inspectors to manage the industry>No jokes about what they will be inspecting. They will be inspecting recording keeping and such, not the service.
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• Make the sale and use of drugs legal
• Regulate it in a similar manner to the way that alcohol and tobacco is regulated
• Impose a "sin tax" on the sale of all recreational drugs
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• Amend the constitution to allow only individuals to contribute to political campaings
• A constitutional ammendment is needed to get around the First Amendment guarentee of free speach for corporations
• This will nearly eliminate special interest politics

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